 |
| credit |
For 5 years, I have loved these girls. I loved serving with these beautiful young women in my ward. I've watched them struggle, I've watched them grow and I have forged friendships with them based on gospel teachings and the influence of the Holy Ghost. I love the girls that I got to work with. They helped me to be a better person.
Yes, some of the girls came and went. But is was very rewarding to watch them grow, make good decisions, make temple covenants, go on missions, and start families. Some of them made choices I would not choose for them, but I still love them and want them to be happy.
A weeks or so ago, I was having a pretty rough night. It was during one of these times when I was grieving the loss of this life experience that I prayed, again. I prayed to Heavenly Father and asked him to please comfort me. I went to bed broken-hearted.
Shortly after I had turned off the light, my phone received a text from my friend Malia. I hadn't heard from here for a few weeks because she had been busy with family stuff. Our conversation started off normal enough, and she sent me a funny picture of her baby. It made me laugh and forget about my sorrows for a few minutes.
It was then that I realized that she had been inspired to text me. Malia doesn't normally text me at night, her texts usually come in the middle of the day. I had asked for comfort and I was receiving it through my friend. Upon recognizing this, I sent her a text that said "Thanks for texting me tonight. I was feeling super sad and you made me happy." Then we were able to talk about how I was feeling and I felt understood and supported by my friend.
This past Thursday, I also received another message from my friend Jessica (who is currently the YW President in her ward in Texas). Normal conversation at first, but then, we talked about my calling. I was also able to receive comfort from her.
Friday started out fine but by the afternoon, I was feeling sad again. Sometimes people make comments that they mean to be helpful or funny, but when you are hurting they don't translate well. Also, I knew my husband would be "stopping by" to officially release me.
When he left our house in white shirt and tie to release some of the other leaders, I said a prayer again. I was specific. I told my Heavenly Father that I was hurting, I told him that I needed comfort, I told him that I needed a blessing from my husband, I told him I didn't want to be an emotional mess at church, and then I needed to go on a date. The last one may seem weird, but I needed to get it off my mind and I needed to feel close to my husband.
When Nathan knocked on the front door - he really did, I momentarily thought about not opening it. But I decided to let him in. He sat down very officially and trying to lighten the mood and comfort myself, I went and sat on his lap and gave him a kiss.
Nathan: "Do you always sit on Bishopric Members laps when they come over?"
Wendy: "Do you always kiss people you go to see?"
Nathan: "Well, I do when they sit on my lap."
It was the perfect funny exchange to make the mood a little lighter.
Then he got down to "the business". It was hard and I cried on his shoulder. He told me he was sorry and offered other words of comfort.
When that part was all over, I said, "I need a blessing, and then I need you to take me out."
For a second he acted confused and then he said, "For a second I thought you wanted me to give you a blessing and then put you out of your misery."
My husband then was able to give me a blessing. It was a blessing of comfort and strength. Exactly what I was needing without telling him specifically. I could feel the love of my Heavenly Father for me.
And a little later we went out on our date.
Saturday, my sister-in-law dropped by with some candy bars and simply said that she had heard that tomorrow might be hard for me, so here's some chocolate.
And yesterday when the change was officially made, I was ok. It was hard and I avoided talking about it with a lot of people, but I didn't have the meltdown I thought I would. I chalked it up to the strength that I had received from Nathan's blessing.
By the way.... the ladies who where called to serve after us are fantastic. I have worked with most of them and I know the girls are in great hands. But man alive, I am sure going to miss hanging with those girls twice a week!
So, why did I use that quote at the top and why am I putting all of this up on my blog?
The quote:
"The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes" —Jeffrey R. Holland
It reminds me that I need to move on now. Yes, I can take the wonderful things I have learned and the experiences that I shared with the girls and apply them for my future, but I can't keep wishing that I was still in my old calling.
And I am putting all of this on my blog so that I have a record of it. In the future I can look back at this experience and remind myself that when I pray and ask my Heavenly Father for comfort, he provides it. He doesn't always take away the thing that is hard and causing pain, but he will give me strength and he will provide the means for comfort.
(For my other post about "What I Learned While Serving in the Young Women's Organizaiton, go here.)
Shortly after I had turned off the light, my phone received a text from my friend Malia. I hadn't heard from here for a few weeks because she had been busy with family stuff. Our conversation started off normal enough, and she sent me a funny picture of her baby. It made me laugh and forget about my sorrows for a few minutes.
It was then that I realized that she had been inspired to text me. Malia doesn't normally text me at night, her texts usually come in the middle of the day. I had asked for comfort and I was receiving it through my friend. Upon recognizing this, I sent her a text that said "Thanks for texting me tonight. I was feeling super sad and you made me happy." Then we were able to talk about how I was feeling and I felt understood and supported by my friend.
This past Thursday, I also received another message from my friend Jessica (who is currently the YW President in her ward in Texas). Normal conversation at first, but then, we talked about my calling. I was also able to receive comfort from her.
Friday started out fine but by the afternoon, I was feeling sad again. Sometimes people make comments that they mean to be helpful or funny, but when you are hurting they don't translate well. Also, I knew my husband would be "stopping by" to officially release me.
When he left our house in white shirt and tie to release some of the other leaders, I said a prayer again. I was specific. I told my Heavenly Father that I was hurting, I told him that I needed comfort, I told him that I needed a blessing from my husband, I told him I didn't want to be an emotional mess at church, and then I needed to go on a date. The last one may seem weird, but I needed to get it off my mind and I needed to feel close to my husband.
When Nathan knocked on the front door - he really did, I momentarily thought about not opening it. But I decided to let him in. He sat down very officially and trying to lighten the mood and comfort myself, I went and sat on his lap and gave him a kiss.
Nathan: "Do you always sit on Bishopric Members laps when they come over?"
Wendy: "Do you always kiss people you go to see?"
Nathan: "Well, I do when they sit on my lap."
It was the perfect funny exchange to make the mood a little lighter.
Then he got down to "the business". It was hard and I cried on his shoulder. He told me he was sorry and offered other words of comfort.
When that part was all over, I said, "I need a blessing, and then I need you to take me out."
For a second he acted confused and then he said, "For a second I thought you wanted me to give you a blessing and then put you out of your misery."
My husband then was able to give me a blessing. It was a blessing of comfort and strength. Exactly what I was needing without telling him specifically. I could feel the love of my Heavenly Father for me.
And a little later we went out on our date.
Saturday, my sister-in-law dropped by with some candy bars and simply said that she had heard that tomorrow might be hard for me, so here's some chocolate.
And yesterday when the change was officially made, I was ok. It was hard and I avoided talking about it with a lot of people, but I didn't have the meltdown I thought I would. I chalked it up to the strength that I had received from Nathan's blessing.
By the way.... the ladies who where called to serve after us are fantastic. I have worked with most of them and I know the girls are in great hands. But man alive, I am sure going to miss hanging with those girls twice a week!
So, why did I use that quote at the top and why am I putting all of this up on my blog?
The quote:
"The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes" —Jeffrey R. Holland
It reminds me that I need to move on now. Yes, I can take the wonderful things I have learned and the experiences that I shared with the girls and apply them for my future, but I can't keep wishing that I was still in my old calling.
And I am putting all of this on my blog so that I have a record of it. In the future I can look back at this experience and remind myself that when I pray and ask my Heavenly Father for comfort, he provides it. He doesn't always take away the thing that is hard and causing pain, but he will give me strength and he will provide the means for comfort.
(For my other post about "What I Learned While Serving in the Young Women's Organizaiton, go here.)
Thinking you as you transition into something new! Can't wait to see you!
ReplyDelete