How Do the Things I Say Affect Those Around Me? Lesson Handout & FHE Lesson

I mentioned last week, that my Mia Maid advisor related a quote from the talk Thy Speech Reveals Thee by L.Tom Perry about correcting speech habits using a 3-step method.  She was leading our discussion for September's Come Follow Me lesson topic: How Do the Things I Say Affect Those Around Me?

Here is the printable that I made so that I can hang it up and remind myself.

As I have been trying to focus on these 3 steps over the past week, I have found that this method works not only for correcting a swearing habit, but also is a great method to speak more nicely to those around you.

I used the handout I created last night for Family Home Evening.  I gave a lesson on speaking more kindly and using better language within our family.  A couple of great songs to sing with this lesson are, Kindness Begins With Me, Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words, Love is Spoken Here, and Love At Home.

I started out by reading Ephesians 4:29-32 and asked the kids to listen for what we weren't supposed to do and what we were supposed to do.

 29 Let no corrupt ^acommunication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

 30 And ^agrieve not the holy ^bSpirit of God, whereby ye are ^csealed unto the day of redemption.

 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and ^aanger, and clamour, and ^bevil ^cspeaking, be put away from you, with all ^dmalice:

 32 And be ye ^akind one to another, tenderhearted, ^bforgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

We talked about what "corrupt communication" could mean.  We also talked about what being tenderhearted meant.

Then I showed the kids this sign I had printed and framed.

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We talked about each letter and tried to think of examples of when each question would help us decide whether to say something or not.  We are going to put this in our kitchen to remind us to "THINK" before we speak.

Finally, I showed them this printout about the difference between "Informing" and "Tattling".

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Finally, here are the links to my printout.  You can either print the full page version, or 2 per page.

Why Do We Fast? Come Follow Me September

I don't mean for this post to be a doctrinal discourse of why members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints fast regularly.  These are just some of the thoughts I have had while preparing for my lesson this Sunday. You can find the lesson outline here.

What is fasting?
From True to the Faith, "to fast is to go without food and drink voluntarily for a certain period of time. Fasting combined with sincere prayer can help you prepare yourself and others to receive God’s blessings."

Carl B. Pratt, in a talk titled, The Blessings of a Proper Fast, quotes from President Joseph F. Smith and teaches that fasting is a commandment,

For those who are physically able, fasting is a commandment. Speaking of our monthly fast day, President Joseph F. Smith said: “The Lord has instituted the fast on a reasonable and intelligent basis. … Those who can are required to comply … ; it is a duty from which they cannot escape; … it is left with the people as a matter of conscience, to exercise wisdom and discretion. …

“But those should fast who can. … None are exempt from this; it is required of the Saints, old and young, in every part of the Church” (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 244).

Examples of the Spiritual Strength Received After Fasting

• Esther 4:10–17 - Esther, her maidens and all of the Jews in Shushan fast for three days and three nights.  Esther in return receives great courage and ultimately achieves what she desires - she and her people are not destroyed.
• Matthew 4:1–11 - Jesus Christ separates himself from others and fasts for 40 days and nights.  He is able to resit the temptations of the devil and angels minister unto him.
• Alma 17:1–3, 9 - The sons of Mosiah fasted and prayed much for the spirit to abide with them. They in turn had "the spirit of prophecy, the spirit of revelation, and ... they taught with power and authority of God".
• D&C 59:12–14 - Fasting and prayer = Your "joy may be full".

From these 4 scripture references we learn that through fasting we can:

1. gain courage to stand up for what we know is right and just, even in the face of great danger or embarrassment.

2. be able to resist the temptations of the devil and have angels minister to us.

3. have the spirit with us, receive direction for our lives through the spirit, and be able to teach others by the spirit.

4. have full joy.

What a Proper Fast Includes

Isaiah 58:7 - I don't always almost never understand Isaiah, but after reading this passage at least 10 times, it started to make sense to me.  I just had to break it down....way down.  

In verse 7, we learn that a proper fast includes taking care of those who are less fortunate than we are.

7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the ^ahungry, and that thou bring the ^bpoor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from ^cthine own flesh?

In True to the Faith we read that as members of the church, we are asked to fast the first Sunday of each month.  A proper fast includes not eating or drinking for two consecutive meals, attending your church meeting, in addition to paying fast offerings.

"The Church designates one Sunday each month, usually the first Sunday, as a day of fasting. Proper observance of fast Sunday includes going without food and drink for two consecutive meals, attending fast and testimony meeting, and giving a fast offering to help care for those in need. 

Your fast offering should be at least the value of the two meals you do not eat. When possible, be generous and give much more than this amount. 

In addition to observing the fast days set aside by Church leaders, you can fast on any other day, according to your needs and the needs of others. However, you should not fast too frequently or for excessive periods of time."

This brings up a good point I would like to address with the Young Women in my class.  At what age do they think it is appropriate to start paying their own fast offerings.  I think this is a personal decision that will vary greatly from girl to girl, but I do believe that it is something that 14 and 15 year old girls can start thinking about.

I also feel it is important to discuss with my girls that not all people can or should fast in the way we usually talk about.  Women who are pregnant or nursing should not go without eating for extended periods of time. People with medical issues or those who must take medications that require it to be taken with food, cannot go without something in their stomach for that long also.  But even the individuals in these situations can "fast" as they find ways to help their spirits learn to control their physical appetites.  As they prayerfully ponder on ways to do this, the Lord will help them know that their fast is acceptable.

In Matthew 6:16–18 we also learn what a proper fast should not "look" like,

"16 Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to ^afast. Verily I say unto you, They ^bhave their reward.

17 But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;

18 That thou appear not unto men to ^afast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall^breward thee openly."

Or in other words, when you're fasting don't complain about how hungry you are.  Also, refrain from announcing to everyone within listening distance how righteous you are because you are fasting.  Fasting, even when done with a group for a specific reason, is a private matter.  Rather, as the Lord instructs us in the above verses, we should say a prayer, wash our face (basically, look your best), and find a good positive attitude to carry us through our fast.  If we do this, we will receive the promised blessings from our Heavenly Father.

Blessings of Fasting

Isaiah 58:3–12 In verse 5, we read: Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul?

Afflict our own souls.  This phrase really struck me.  When I fast, I am purposely afflicting my body with discomfort. My body says, "Feed me!  You are going to starve to death.  If you ignore me, I will grumble loudly during Sunday School and you will be embarrassed!" and my spirit replies, "You are fine.  I am trying to teach you that you are not in control.  Stop grumbling and learn from this".  

Later in verses 6, 8 and 11, we learn more about the blessings that come from fasting.

 6 Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the ^abands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go ^bfree, and that ye break every yoke?

 8 ¶Then shall thy ^alight break forth as the morning, and thine ^bhealth shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy ^crearward.

 11 And the Lord shall ^aguide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in ^bdrought, and ^cmake fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a ^dspring of water, whose waters fail not.

We learn that by fasting, we loose the bands of wickedness, and set ourselves free from whatever bondage in which we find ourselves trapped - we break the yoke.  We are promised that our health will be good and that the Lord will be our guard.  We will be guided by him continually and he will fill us when we are lacking, whether temporally or spiritually.

 It talks here about watering a garden during drought and making our bones fat. I'd like to pass on the fat bones promise please!  I'm kidding.  I know it is not in a literal sense, more I believe it means that we will have the strength we need to perform our labors and we will have his spirit with us to comfort us.

Fasting for Others

In addition to fasting for our own struggles and problems, we can fast for others as well.

Mosiah 27:18–24 - This is the account of Alma the Younger after he sees an angel and is stricken dumb and has no strength.  After he is taken to his father, his father and the priests fast and pray for Alma the Younger to be restored to good health.  They also ask that the experience might help those around them - "that the eyes of the people might be opened to see and know of the goodness and glory of God."

We are to fast and pray not only for the missionaries who are serving full-time missions, but we should fast and pray for missionary experiences of our own.

Alma 6:6 - Nevertheless the children of God were commanded that they should gather themselves together oft, and join in ^afasting and mighty prayer in behalf of the welfare of the souls of those who knew not God.

Fasting Strengthens our Testimony

I used this first scripture back in June during my Testimony devotional for Girl's Camp.

Alma 5:45–46 - Even the prophets of God have to fast and pray many days to gain their testimonies.

Behold, I say unto you they are made ^aknown unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. Behold, I have ^bfasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of^crevelation which is in me.

Helaman 3:35 - This is a great scripture!  I broke this one down into several parts.  I think I will spend quite a bit of time discussing this one with the girls and getting their thoughts on how these all fit together and bring about sanctification and yielding their hearts unto God.

Nevertheless they did ^afast and ^bpray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their ^chumility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the ^dpurifying and the ^esanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their ^fyielding their hearts unto God. 

did wax stronger and stronger in their humility - Fasting humbles us.  It allows our spirits to subdue the "natural man" appetites of the body.  Being humble softens our hearts which opens us to being teachable by the Spirit and capable of making lasting changes through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ - When our faith is firm and built upon Christ we are able to stand confidently for our beliefs.

unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation - When we are humble and full of the Spirit and firm in our faith in Christ, our souls are joyful and at peace.  We know that life may not always be fair and easy, but we have hope and confidence in good things to come and find joy and contentment in our daily blessings.

even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts - Purifying and Sanctification, these are some big idea words.  As far as I can understand, "purifying ... of their hearts" means a cleansing of the heart. Removing sins, struggles and hard feelings, basically repentance.  A "sanctification of their hearts" was a little harder.  I had to look up a few references for sanctification and found a quote by Elder D. Todd Christofferson,

"To be sanctified through the blood of Christ is to become clean, pure, and holy. If justification removes the punishment for past sin, then sanctification removes the stain or effects of sin."

I believe that the sanctification of our hearts occurs after our hearts are purified and after we allow the atonement to change us.  Sanctification is where we are made holy - our hearts are changed.  "We have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."

But as the original scripture concludes, ("which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God") this can only be done if we will turn our will over to God.  We practice this when we fast.  We teach our body to obey the will of our spirit in preparation to turning our will to God. 

What are your thoughts on fasting?  I would love to hear them, especially if someone understands sanctification better than I do.

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There is also a great article in the New Era that you could use for this lesson called, Blessings of Fasting.

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Just download the .pdf file of the article and then set your print it out 2 sheets per page, so that it looks like this:

Then run it through the printer again, but print on the opposite side this time.  You'll end up with a 1/2 sheet insert for your study journals.

Also, some more great handouts for this lesson can be found online.  

Like this one from All Things Bright and Beautiful

or from The Idea Door

How Can I Be in the World But Not of the World? Come Follow Me Lesson

The talks and scriptures for this lesson were amazing!  There was so much good stuff, that it makes it really hard to choose what to focus on for our discussion.

I really liked the example that Elder Hales used of Nehemiah.  The account is found in Nehemiah 6. Nehemiah is doing this great work of building a wall to protect the city of Jerusalem.  Of this Elder Hales says, "Some wanted him to come down and compromise his position, but Nehemiah refused.  He was not intolerant of others; he simply explained,  "I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down; why should the work cease ...?"

I love that Elder Hales says that Nehemiah was not being intolerant.  I feel that often in today's world when we stand up for our beliefs and the standards we have set for ourselves as Latter-day Saints, we are labeled intolerant and self-righteous.  There is nothing wrong with standing by and up for your beliefs!  I don't demand that others change their beliefs to match mine, but I do request that they be respectful of what I believe and the way I choose to live.

In our lesson on Sunday, I hope to bring up discussion questions that cover these points:

1. We are here on earth for a purpose.  We are here to get a body, to be tested, to gain knowledge and develop talents, and to serve God's children.  These are the reasons that we must be "in the world".
2. Discuss ideas on how we can be in the world but not of the world.  What do we need to do?  I hope to use a chunk of scriptures from the lesson outline for this discussion. (1 Nephi 15:23–25; Alma 34:39; Helaman 5:12; D&C 10:5;27:15–18; 87:8 ). I also would like to use a couple of paragraphs from Sister Elaine S. Dalton's talk, Remember Who You Are. It is the third and fourth paragraphs -- beginning with "This is a magnificent time to be on earth..."  
3. Also, hoping to cover questions like:

• Why set a city on a hill?  Why does it matter if the city is hidden or not?
• Why does the world sometimes mock and despise the followers of Christ?
• Why does one who has tasted of the fruit of the tree of life (God's love), sometimes become ashamed by the mocking of those in the "great and spacious building"?  How can we protect ourselves from the scoffing and mocking?  I also want to point out here that it's not just mocking that we need to be aware of.  It is also cunning deception by Satan.

I made an insert for our study journals for this lesson. 

You can print it out by clicking on the link below.  If a full page is too large for your study journal, go into "properties" and adjust the printing size to 80-90% of the normal size.

***UPDATE**  I have had several people say that the links below are blurry when printed.  You can either email me at ydnewc1[at]gmail[dot]com or try downloading the .pdf from my google docs link here:
https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0BzE4C6jQLVXKdVRQTml0NXdQMXc&usp=sharing

Download from Google Docs at this link.

How Can I Be in the World but Not of the World by Wendy H

Why is family important? Come Follow Me - August Lesson

"Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life."  Julie B. Beck

This Sunday I will be leading the discussion for our combined young women lesson.  My topic question is why is family important?

Way back in February, I taught the combined YW lesson on the Plan of Salvation.  I posted a little bit about it here.  Since Sister Beck says that without the family there is no plan, I decided to go back and review my notes for that lesson.  

The main point of my lesson back in February was that a discussion of the Plan of Salvation was not complete without a discussion of:

1. The Creation
2. The Fall
3. The Atonement

These 3 events make our progression back to our Heavenly Father possible.  Without these three events, we cannot progress from Pre-Earth life to Mortality and eventually back to God.

So what does this have to do with the family?  Well, Sister Beck says it best.  

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a theology of the family that is based on the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement. The Creation of the earth provided a place where families could live. God created a man and a woman who were the two essential halves of a family. It was part of Heavenly Father’s plan that Adam and Eve be sealed and form an eternal family.

The Fall provided a way for the family to grow. Adam and Eve were family leaders who chose to have a mortal experience. The Fall made it possible for them to have sons and daughters.

The Atonement allows for the family to be sealed together eternally. It allows for families to have eternal growth and perfection. The plan of happiness, also called the plan of salvation, was a plan created for families. 

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World we read these truths about the family unit:

• "The family is ordained of God..."
• "...the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children."
• "...the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets."
• the family is the fundamental unit of society.

In today's world, the family is under attack. Also from Sister Beck,

...Ephesians 6:12: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Public policies are being made every day that are anti-family, and the definition of family is changing legally around the world. Pornography is rampant. For those who create pornography, their new target audience is young women. Parents are being portrayed as inept and out of touch. Antifamily media messages are everywhere. Youth are being desensitized about the need to form eternal families.

We see how this can happen when we read the words of Korihor, an anti-Christ: “Thus he did preach unto them, leading away the hearts of many, causing them to lift up their heads in their wickedness, yea, leading away many women, and also men, to commit whoredoms” (Alma 30:18). Satan knows that he will never have a body; he will never have a family. So he targets young women, who will create the bodies for the future generations.

Korihor was an anti-Christ. Anti-Christ is anti-family. Any doctrine or principle our youth hear from the world that is anti-family is also anti-Christ. It’s that clear.

So what is to be done and what direction do I take with my lesson this Sunday?  As you can probably tell thus far, I was really impressed with Sister Beck's address to seminary and institute of religion teachers entitled, Teaching the Doctrine of the Family.  In her address, she says that "Our role in this is to teach [the youth] so they don’t misunderstand. We must be very clear on key points of doctrine, which we find in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”  This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before. If they don’t know it, they can’t defend it. "

There was my answer as to what to teach this Sunday.  I need to find out what they are hearing from the world about the family and teach them the correct doctrine from the scriptures, the words of modern-day prophets and last but certainly not least, The Family Proclamation.

To prepare, I came up with some "world teachings" about the family that I have heard.  I made a "T" chart in my study journal and on one side I listed what "The World Says" and on the other, I listed what "We Say" (meaning The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).  I think it is also important to point out to my young women that "the world" can be friends, relatives, or people they might look up to.  It can be anyone who is teaching you something that is contrary to God's laws and commandments.

For my lesson, I will start by discussing how the family fits in with The Creation, The Fall, and The Atonement.  Then I will explain that Satan knows the importance of families and is currently working hard to distort not only the world's view of the family but more importantly, their (meaning my young women's) view of the family.

Then I will ask the girls to list things that they hear the world say about the family.  What does the world teach them about the family?  What changes they have noticed in family dynamics?  What do the TV shows, song lyrics, and movies they watch say about the way families should be?  What do they hear from their peers about what makes a family?

I will list their answers on individual sheets of paper and place them on the floor in a big "T" graph under "The World Says:" (I plan to make my "T" graph with blue painter's tape).  If some of the answers are similar in nature, I will add it to the same sheet of paper.

Once we've listed a bunch of these "worldly" teachings, I will split the girls and leaders into groups.  I will pass out copies of The Family: A Proclamation to the World (having each group focus on a separate paragraph), scripture references that are covered in the lesson outline - as well as some others I found appropriate, and quotes from modern day prophets regarding these topics.  

Before I give them some time to read through their reference material, I will explain that I would like them to look for what "We Say" in response to each idea the world is teaching them about the family.  I will ask them to write down the reference or paragraph number on a sheet of paper and what is being taught.  Then I will turn them loose to read and discuss in their groups.

When it looks like the discussion is winding down, I will go around the room, group by group, and ask them to come up and place their papers on the "We Say" side of the "T" graph - across from the worldly teaching they are clarifying with church doctrine. I will also ask them to explain how their reference discounts the world's teachings.  

So hopefully when we are all done, it will sort of look like my scripture journal above, just in a larger format.

I'm sure that my Young Women will come up with more awesome insights than I could because they are just that incredible.  And I'm not worried about not having a scripture reference to cover whatever it is that they come up with for worldly teachings because The Family: A Proclamation to the World will cover anything they can throw out there.

Also, before I end my lesson, I will point out that much of what we covered in the lesson can be counted toward Personal Progress Integrity Value Experience #7. 

List the issues, trends, and problems that weaken the family. Read the First Presidency message, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”, and the section on family in For the Strength of Youth. Then research in the Church magazines the counsel of those whom we sustain as prophets, seers, and revelators. Write in your journal your plan to strengthen your present family and the values and traditions you want to establish with your future family.

I also made a sheet that my girls can glue into their study notebooks to take notes if they chose to do that.

Any ideas or suggestion for me before my lesson on Sunday?

Update: Many have asked for pictures of my journal or a filled out T chart.  I've had them on the blog before, but found myself under scrutiny from readers (not nice comments) for it not being all-inclusive, so I pulled them down. I'm putting them back up so that people can use them, but please don't comment and tell me what they are missing.  Please understand that I never intended for these pages to contain everything, nor do I hope that they do.  My intention posting this was to give other YW leaders ideas, not give them a lesson they didn't have to prepare themselves.  My notes are not all-inclusive and are missing topics such as gay marriage, fornication, cohabitation, and I'm sure a myriad of other worldly teachings. 

Ask your girls for the issues they see in the world.  Don't give them the answers.  I know that if you wait for your girls to answer, and don't give them too much help, they will come up with the issues that they see and are faced with. It will give you great insight into their worlds. 

how do i receive the gift of the Holy Ghost? lesson handout

i made this handout to use for my lesson on sunday.  feel free to use it also.

here's mine, all printed up, glued into my study journal and partially filled out.

download from google docs at this link.

How Do I Receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost by Wendy H