While My Husband Served as Bishop

I began writing this when Nathan was called as Bishop of our ward in February 2018. Much of the first portion was written in late 2018 and then throughout 2019 and 2020. I've added details in retrospect in March 2023.

I pray and hope I never forget the power and healing that has come to me as I accept and act on this challenge. This year, my husband was called to be the bishop in our ward.

From the start, I was realistic with myself, knowing I would experience feelings of frustration, anger, resentment, and jealousy. I know I have tendencies toward these things. I even shared these worries with the Stake President just before he extended the call to my husband. Although I don't recall the exact words, he responded, "That's certainly something you'll have to work through." I also knew there would be blessings, and shortly after his call, we even experienced our own small miracle, which I saw as a gift from our loving Father. I now have a list of miracles I began compiling in the summer of 2022.

As much as our Heavenly Father knows what experiences and trials we need to experience to grow from our weaknesses and become like him, Satan is also keenly aware of our shortcomings. His detailed and specific attacks upon the most vulnerable aspects of my personality blindsided me. Attacks that were custom-tailored just for me - feelings of insignificance, exposure and vulnerability, judgment, and guilt about my feelings, to name a few. I never realized I was unprepared because I was doing what we should do to combat him and his influence.

It was difficult to adjust to having my husband be mentally absent. I felt the weight when he held something he couldn't share with me. I felt incredibly lonely. Knowing that other women were vulnerable with my husband was very difficult. I felt angry at ward members when I would hear them making judgments about things my husband was doing as bishop. One of our sons made some poor choices during the first couple of months my husband was serving. Through the ward grapevine, I heard how he was being spoken about. "Did you hear what the bishop's son did at school?" Didn't they understand that we didn't ask for this call and that we were all doing our best? I was confused why friends no longer spoke to me freely at church and why people who had never had anything to do with me now wanted to be extra friendly.

I felt that I had lost my identity when Nathan was called. In the matter of one day, I went from being a strong, independent woman named Wendy to "the bishop's wife." When people introduced me as the bishop's wife, it felt painful. We don't refer to anyone in other callings that way. When I was introduced that way, I would say, "Actually, my name is Wendy." Or when I was feeling especially defiant, I would refer to myself as "the bishop's mistress."

I felt exposed and discontent with myself (Elder Neal A Maxwell's definition of discontent). I felt that I'd feel better if I could just attend a different ward, vocally defend myself and my family, or retaliate against judgment and criticism. Ultimately, I felt I couldn't because I feared how it would reflect on Nathan.

It's weird to have your husband as your bishop. When I would share my feelings with Nathan, it felt that I could no longer talk to my husband. He had a hard time separating himself from the Bishop mentality. I would tell him, "I am talking to my husband, not the bishop. Stop telling me to love everyone and be kind."

I started believing these things wouldn't bother me if I were more righteous. Certainly, the prophet's wife didn't feel this way. (PS, why was I even comparing myself to the prophet's wife?) I would see this as a great blessing if I were righteous enough. If I were righteous enough, I wouldn't have any help consecrating all that I possess, my husband's time and energy, to building the kingdom of God.

For several months I would put on a brave face each morning until my children left for school and Nathan went to work. I would spend time crying in the shower or my closet almost daily. I wanted relief, strength to overcome, and God's love, but I felt nothing. A few times, I literally cried aloud, "God, please hear me."

Nearly every Sunday, I would sit in Sacrament meetings and cry, especially during the sacrament, because I wanted to rely on my Savior. Still, I couldn't feel anything, especially His strength or help.

Nathan and I fought more than usual that first year he served. At one point, he said, "If this is how it's going to be, I will ask to be released." I didn't want that for him, so I stopped sharing and tried to hide my feelings from him.

I continued to pour out my soul in prayer to my Heavenly Father. I tried faithfully serving as Relief Society First Counselor but ultimately asked to be released. I prayed for revelation for my ministering sisters, knowing that service is one of the best antidotes for depression. I received priesthood blessings from my husband. Despite doing these things, I found myself sinking into despair. I couldn't figure out how to rid myself of the darkness surrounding me.

Just days before the General Women's Conference, I reached a breaking point when, for the second time, I found myself in my closet, wishing I could just be dead. The thought startled and scared me. Never before had I thought about intentionally ending my life, and now I had considered it would be better twice in a matter of a few days.

I opened up to my husband about these thoughts. With his encouragement, I scheduled an appointment with a counselor for the following week.

I attended the women's session of General Conference a few days later with my mom and daughter. I did not want to go. Emotionally, I was a wreck. Sister Michelle Craig gave a talk that touched my heart called Divine Discontent. President Russell M Nelson also spoke to the women of the church and gave a challenge that I decided to accept wholeheartedly. These two talks quite literally saved my life at this time.

At the invitation of President Nelson, I took a break from social media and began reading the Book of Mormon at an accelerated rate. I took a copy with me everywhere I went. I canceled the counseling appointment because, for a time, I started to feel better. Eventually, I did make an appointment and spent time speaking with a counselor to clarify my role in supporting and sustaining my husband.

Just shy of two years into his time as bishop, Nathan had to go to Denver for a couple of weeks for work. I flew out to be with him for a few days. It was during this time that it became abundantly clear why my husband was MY bishop at this time. It is a very tender experience for me. I was able to have an open and frank conversation about a painful experience from my earlier life in an environment where I felt ready and safe.

I write this because when I first struggled, I could only find words online that focused on the blessings that came to families as a husband and father served as bishop. They would briefly say it was hard, and we struggled, but BLESSINGS! I'm glad these others could work past the struggles, but I needed someone to be real with me and let me know that I wasn't alone in my feelings. Not only do I feel like it would cheapen my experience and progress to gloss over the hard parts, but it may provide a false reality to those who follow.

We need not feel alone, broken, and misunderstood. In church culture, we can sometimes feel expected to fit in or appear perfect, even at a great cost to ourselves. I'm done with that. I want to be the best version of myself and draw closer to my Savior and Heavenly Father.

It's been a long ride. I have continued to struggle. Of course, not all of my struggles directly relate to Nathan's service. Most are the result of living in this world. I have gone to counseling on and off while my husband has served. I have had moments of strength and clarity, and seasons of waiting on the Lord for help. The Savior continues to meet me where I am. He met me in my anger, depression, and confusion. When I choose to allow it, he is there. He didn't change my feelings or force me to feel differently, but he allowed me to see a different perspective when I was ready. He has made me more confident. My experience has me feeling more empowered to take my place in the kingdom of God and His church.

My husband was released this past Sunday. I wasn't sure how I would feel. As it turns out, I felt sad, almost like mourning. And grateful. And I was emotionally overwhelmed with love from my Father in Heaven. As I've reflected for a couple of days, I realize that the past five years has held seasons of bitter, but I've also found profound sweetness. I'm grateful for the learning and growth from both.

Thoughts on Holiness

A short talk I gave at our Stake Sister's Conference in March 2023.

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The question, “What would a holy woman do?” causes a bit of uneasiness within me. In my fallen brain, this question can lead me to comparison and lack. As a recovering perfectionist who struggles to see and value my contributions, I constantly battle feelings of being enough. However, I desire with every bit of my soul for holiness.

For me, holiness is the process of seeking and submitting to the enticings of the Holy Ghost to guide my thoughts, words, and actions. Then trusting my heart to Jesus Christ to be transformed through the grace and mercy of His Atonement.

When asked to take on this assignment, I was deep in the middle of some frustrating and stressful situations. As I continued my daily efforts to connect with Heaven, and sought holiness, my Heavenly Father took my small efforts and taught and reminded me of a few things I’ll share with you.

First, I need to recognize and acknowledge that in many ways I am already a holy woman—more than I give myself credit for.

Second. I will look up rather than around at others. I will seek my Father’s will and validation in my pursuit of holiness.

Third, Holiness is about my focus on Jesus Christ and the condition of my heart.

Fourth, I lack, and I will continue to lack. That binds me to my Savior. During this holiness exercise, and due to some of the circumstances I mentioned earlier, for several days, I found myself terribly off-course mentally and emotionally, even though I pleaded for strength, patience, peace, and perspective. I accept that I stumble because of my weakness. I will trust in the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and move forward.

Fifth, Holiness is not an event. It’s a life-long process, a practice. I will continue to close the gap by yielding to the enticings of the Spirit. The Holy Ghost loves me perfectly, so I can trust the guidance I receive. 

Sisters, I doubt I’ll ever feel perfectly holy in this life. But, I will strive to become exact in my efforts for holiness. And I can repent when I fall short of that goal. I want to become like my Savior. If I know nothing else, I know He is holiness. I know He is compassionate, forgiving, patient, and merciful. Those are some of His holy qualities I want to practice with myself as I strive to become holy like He is.

General Conference Packet Roundup

It's nearly time for General Conference and it seems like I am always scrambling at the last minute to print out activity packets for my girls. Well, not this year.

Here's what I've found.

A conference packet directly from the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Also, a packet from Deseret News.

A packet from LDS Bookstore.

A packet from Somewhat Simple

A few ideas from The Red Crystal.

Sugardoodle has a conference section.

Katie's Blog-Ness has created a very cute Conference Train.

What are your favorite conference traditions?

Gathering Israel Stake Conference Talk

A talk I gave during the adult session of Stake Conference on August 6, 2022.

On June 7, 1851, Arthilla Williams was born in Wapello, Iowa. Thilla, as she was sometimes called, married James G. Chappell on September 4, 1872. James and Thilla had six children, two girls, and four boys. Sometime after the birth of their last child in 1887, they moved to Tacoma, WA, where they spent the rest of their days. Arthilla passed away on May 9, 1903, at 51. 

In January 2014, my mother gave me family cards for a temple trip with my eldest son, Jared. Among those we baptized were Arthilla and her four sons. A few weeks later, during Stake Temple Week, I completed the initiatory and endowment for Arthilla while my husband, Nathan, and other members of this stake completed those same ordinances for her sons. Later that month, I knelt at the altar, acting as proxy for Arthilla, and Nathan served as proxy for James as we sealed them to their six children. 

During the sealing of this family, I felt the Spirit in a way I hadn't previously. It was consuming and burning. I could feel Thilla’s joy. Motivated by this experience, I discovered more about her family over the next several years and found two siblings and her parents, which we also sealed as an eternal family. This family led me to many more.

When Arthilla married James, she joined a branch in my family tree. James is the brother of my great-great-grandfather. Previously untouched by temple hands, this line is not part of my direct line. They are branches. Now known to me. Always known to Father. 

Elder Gong taught that "...Living trees have roots and branches. …Connect the roots and branches in your living family tree." 

SHARING EXPERIENCE

Late last year, a young woman was hired to help in the office where I work. She had recently moved to Utah from a neighboring state because she felt she needed a change in her life. As we talked about our children, I mentioned that I have two sons serving missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One in Brazil, the other in Florida.

Over the next few months, she asked many questions about church doctrine, culture, and policy, and I silently pleaded for words from the Spirit.

I shared the interactions with my coworker during calls with my sons. With their encouragement, I invited her to attend church with me, and she agreed. Unfortunately, that Sunday morning, she sent me a text that her daughter was sick and would not be able to attend, so please ask her again. 

A couple of weeks later, she became very ill and was hospitalized. With no immediate family in-state, I wanted to support her in a way I could. I felt prompted to offer her a priesthood blessing from my husband. I was reluctant since she had shared traumatic experiences with male pastors in her previous church. But I took courage and sent the text. To my surprise, she accepted. The Spirit was present in the hospital room, and with tears in her eyes, she thanked us for coming. Later she confessed she was worried it would be awkward, but all she felt was God’s love.

I offered to arrange for her to meet with missionaries, but she wanted to attend Sacrament meeting first. She decided she would attend on Easter. Shortly before Easter Sunday, I acted on a prompting to mark passages in a Book of Mormon, write my testimony and give it to her that day at work.

GATHERING ISRAEL

As you know, I am speaking about gathering Israel on both sides of the veil. Before you tune me out, I ask you to stay present with me for a minute. I refuse to stand up here and be a hypocrite. I fully admit I struggle to carry out this vital work. I struggle with consistency and maintaining a desire to act. You may say, “Well, you just shared these experiences.” Yes, but after hitting a dead end with Arthilla’s line a few years ago, one night I prayed and said, please tell Elijah I’m sorry, but I need a rest. If not for the eagerness of my coworker to learn more, I may not have invited and shared as much as I did. Both situations were given to me, like gifts. I only chose to act.

So please don’t tune out. I invite you to open your heart to the Spirit and see where that takes you and me over the next couple of minutes. 

In Doctrine and Covenants, we are told, "Ye are called to bring to pass the gathering of mine elect; for mine elect hear my voice and harden not their hearts…."1 Every baptized member of the church is called to this work through covenants we have made with Father. 

Often when we don't fulfill a calling well, it's because we don't know how we can do it. There isn't a step-by-step outline to get from here to there. Many of us want to be anxiously engaged in the work of Gathering Israel, but maybe we aren't sure where to start or what precisely to do.2 Perhaps we assume that others will take care of it, and we can just watch.

Maybe we aren’t sure how to fit the Gathering into our busy lives. Perhaps, we doubt our abilities and knowledge. The good news is, I have found that Heavenly Father rewards even the most minor, weakest effort when I seek His ways and try to do His will. He loves to amplify and consecrate small actions, and I rely heavily on that goodness.

It can be easy to get caught up in comparing our “Gathering Israel'' efforts with the efforts of others. Because of my weaknesses, some things I see others do, I am totally not comfortable doing or can’t make a priority at this time in my life. But, using my strengths and led by my Father through the Spirit, I can gather in ways that work for me and fit in my life. Our circles of influence are different. Father needs each of us to accomplish His work in our sphere. We can pray and ask Heavenly Father to present us with opportunities we are comfortable acting on. 

CHARITY

"Whenever we show Christlike love toward our neighbor, we preach the gospel - even if we do not voice a single word."3 We are told that “charity never faileth.”4 Christlike love never fails as a response, especially when we gather Father’s children.

Gathering does not mean we sort out other people’s wiring or struggles. When we are told to “bear one another’s burdens…mourn with those that mourn… comfort those who stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God…”,5 that does not include fixing people, their burdens, or the weaknesses we perceive. Charity never requires an account of adherence to gospel standards or repentance progress reports. Some struggles may require that we set clear boundaries or distance ourselves from an individual. However, in most situations, gathering means we hold space for that person as they are. We walk with them. We offer our support. We find ways to include. We strive to show Christlike love. But most importantly, we invite them to reach for and bind themselves to Jesus Christ. He is the Advocate, Healer, Comforter, and Redeemer.

"Let all your things be done with charity."6 "And faith, hope, charity, and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, [will] qualify [us] for the work."7 Our commission is to love, share, and invite all. 

WHAT CAN WE DO

About a month ago, on a call with my missionary son Isaac, he asked about my current efforts to Gather Israel. He asked me to identify people, members or not, that I could just uplift or strengthen and asked, "Mom, what's the next step for you?" I work from home most days and rarely leave the house, even in the evening. So, I said, "I can smile and wave when I see this person. That would be the first step there. And maybe I can leave the house more to interact with others." He encouraged me to commit to those things. Maybe the Madagascar penguins had it right when they suggested we, "Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave." 

Now, listen. I know that I need to be open to the guidance of the Spirit to do more than smile and wave when prompted. But if you feel discouraged, overwhelmed, apathetic, like the Heavens are closed to you, or you suffer from anxiety or depression, or any other challenging circumstance, I see you. At times, I feel right there with you. If you feel like you can't add one more thing, join me in asking Heavenly Father for the desire to remain open to promptings from the Spirit and to have the strength and energy to act in ways you can.

Elder Gary E Stevenson reminds us, "Sometimes the invitation is something we extend inward—an invitation to ourselves, giving us awareness and vision of opportunities surrounding us to act upon."8

"...the Lord has never required expert, flawless …efforts." Instead, Elder Uchtdorf shares, "the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind."9 Sometimes, just turning our hearts to be willing to gather Israel, “even if [we] can no more than desire,”10 is all the Lord needs to begin to work through us.

I invite you to ponder what is your first or next step, your one percent11 improvement, to help Gather Israel. Will you smile and wave? Is it beginning your day with prayer? Is it to visit the FamilySearch Center? Is it choosing to speak more openly or positively about your church experience to those with whom you interact? Is it to make an appointment to attend the temple?

I wish I could tell you that my work friend came to church with me on Easter Sunday. I wish I could say that she met with the missionaries and read the Book of Mormon. A week or so after giving her the copy of the Book of Mormon, she abruptly switched jobs and declined more communication. I mourn over this. In lamenting the outcome with my missionary sons, they congratulated me and said, "Now you’re a real missionary, Mom."

I am grateful for these words from our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, “As we seek to teach the gospel, raise righteous families, magnify our callings, and minister to those around us…”,12 “anytime we do anything that helps anyone - on either side of the veil - to make and keep their covenants with God, we are helping to gather Israel.”13

Brothers and Sisters, please plant gospel seeds everywhere! You never know when those seeds will sprout and eventually bloom under the right conditions and at the right time. 

We can share the love of God in natural and normal ways with those who cross our path. We can extend sincere invitations as guided by the Spirit. We can connect our family roots and branches through small but deliberate efforts. All of this is possible through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

1. Doctrine and Covenants 29:7

2. Clayton M. Christensen, The Power of Everyday Missionaries, (2012), 3.

3. Gary E. Stevenson, “Love, Share, Invite,” April 2022 General Conference.

4. Moroni 7: 46; 1 Corinthians 13:8

5. Mosiah 18:8

6. 1 Corinthians 16:14

7. Doctrine and Covenants 4:5

8. Gary E. Stevenson, “Love, Share, Invite,” April 2022 General Conference.

9. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Missionary Work: Sharing What Is in Your Heart,” April 2018 General Conference.

10. Alma 32:27

11. Michael A. Dunn, “One Percent Better,” October 2021 General Conference

12. Russell M Nelson, “The Gathering of Scattered Israel,” October 2006 General Conference

13. Russell M Nelson, “Let God Prevail,” October 2020 General Conference

Isaac's Youth Talk on, The Holy Ghost is Our Guide

The talk Isaac gave in sacrament meeting on July 8, 2018.

This past April in General Conference, Elder Larry Y. Wilson of the Seventy talked about what an incomparable gift comes to those who put their faith in Jesus Christ. That gift is the Holy Ghost. I want to share a story from Elder Wilson’s talk, it says.

During the Korean War, Ensign Frank Blair served on a troop transport ship stationed in Japan. The ship wasn’t large enough to have a formal chaplain, so the captain asked Brother Blair to be the ship’s informal chaplain, having observed that the young man was a person of faith and principle, highly respected by the whole crew.

Ensign Blair wrote: “Our ship was caught in a huge typhoon. The waves were about 45 feet [14 m] high. I was on watch … during which time one of our three engines stopped working and a crack in the centerline of the ship was reported. We had two remaining engines, one of which was only functioning at half power. We were in serious trouble.”

Ensign Blair finished his watch and was getting into bed when the captain knocked on his door. He asked, “Would you please pray for this ship?” Of course, Ensign Blair agreed to do so.

At that point, Ensign Blair could have simply prayed, “Heavenly Father, please bless our ship and keep us safe,” and then gone to bed. Instead, he prayed to know if there was something he could do to help ensure the safety of the ship. In response to Brother Blair’s prayer, the Holy Ghost prompted him to go to the bridge, speak with the captain, and learn more. He found that the captain was trying to determine how fast to run the ship’s remaining engines. Ensign Blair returned to his cabin to pray again.

He prayed, “What can I do to help address the problem with the engines?” 

In response, the Holy Ghost whispered that he needed to walk around the ship and observe to gather more information. He again returned to the captain and asked for permission to walk around the deck. Then, with a lifeline tied around his waist, he went out into the storm. 

Standing on the stern, he observed the giant propellers as they came out of the water when the ship crested a wave. Only one was working fully, and it was spinning very fast. After these observations, Ensign Blair once again prayed. The clear answer he received was that the remaining good engine was under too much strain and needed to be slowed down. So he returned to the captain and made that recommendation. The captain was surprised, telling him that the ship’s engineer had just suggested the opposite—that they increase the speed of the good engine in order to outrun the storm. Nevertheless, the captain chose to follow Ensign Blair’s suggestion and slowed the engine down. By dawn the ship was safely in calm waters. 

Only two hours later, the good engine stopped working altogether. With half power in the remaining engine, the ship was able to limp into port.

The captain said to Ensign Blair, “If we had not slowed that engine when we did, we would have lost it in the middle of the storm.” 

Without that engine, there would have been no way to steer. The ship would have overturned and been sunk. The captain thanked the young LDS officer and said he believed that following Ensign Blair’s spiritual impressions had saved the ship and its crew.

I have a story of my own that I would like to share

Last year, when I was on trek, we were doing a hike by Dan Jones Cove.  While we were walking, I decided to go to the back where my dad was, and two other youth and one of the missionaries were. I was walking with them for a while when one of the youth had to go to the bathroom. Me, my dad, the missionary and the two other youth stopped and waited for one of the youth to go to the bathroom off in the bushes. When he got done we started walking again to catch up with the rest of the group, we didn’t make it that far when the youth that needed to go to the bathroom realized he didn’t have his wallet. We turned around went back to where we stopped before and started looking.

My dad and I decided to walk back farther to see if he had dropped his wallet farther back. While we were walking my dad had the idea that we should pray. So we prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help us find the wallet. When we finished the prayer we kept walking, we finally arrived back at Dan Jones Cove. I told my dad that I remembered seeing the person that lost his wallet sitting near a rock wall. My dad started looking around and then pulled himself up to a ledge where someone could sit, and he looked at the ledge, and there was a big crack in the rock. My dad looked down inside of the crack and saw the youth’s wallet sitting at the bottom. We got the wallet out and said a prayer to thank Heavenly Father for helping us find the wallet. We walked back to where the rest of the group was and met up with the two youth and missionary on our way there and returned the wallet.

In both of these stories, God helped by sending the Holy Ghost to guide us to fix the problem.

To receive revelation from the Holy Ghost, we have to be worthy. Elder Wilson said that we must be making an effort to align our lives with God’s commandments to be directed by Him.

In the first story Ensign Blair didn’t ask God to fix the problem, but instead, he asked God to know what to do to be part of the solution. So instead of asking God to fix all of our problems we should ask how we can fix the problem with his help.

In the second story when we prayed, we asked what God to help us find the wallet instead of asking to have the wallet turn up. We had to keep looking, and when we got back to the cove, the Holy Ghost helped me remember where the youth was sitting so we could find it.

In First Nephi chapter 15 verse 24 it says, "And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction."

This means that we need to listen and do the things that the Holy Ghost is telling us to do and that we need to not get distracted while doing it. If we do these things, then we will never perish, and it is harder for the adversary to tempt us.

Amelia's First Youth Talk - My Feelings About the Book of Mormon

This lovely young woman spoke as a youth speaker for the first time this past Sunday.  She spent the week prior gathering her thoughts and getting them typed up on the computer.  Saturday, I went through her thoughts with her and we put them in an order that would flow well.  Because she struggles with her reading fluency, she practiced her talk over and over until she felt comfortable.  

Just before the end of 2017, I was called to be the Ward Music Chairman. I was acting as chorister this past Sunday and got to sit on the stand next to her.  As the meeting started, I leaned over to ask her if she was nervous and she said yes.  I reminded her that she could pray and ask Heavenly Father to help her feel calm and confident.  During the passing of the sacrament, I leaned over again and asked her how she felt.  She said she felt calm and ready. And she was! She did a terrific job!

Here is the talk she gave.

In True to the Faith, it says, "When holy men of God write or speak by the power of the Holy Ghost, their words shall be scripture, shall be the will of the Lord, shall be the mind of the Lord, shall be the word of the Lord, shall be the voice of the Lord, and the power of God unto salvation."

This means that the Lord teaches us through the Book of Mormon and other scriptures about how we can be come like him and return to live with him again.

On September 22, 1827, an angel named Moroni - the last Book of Mormon prophet, deliverd these records to the Prophet Joseph Smith.  By the gift and power of God, the Prophet Joseph translated the record into English.  Joseph Smith said that the Book of Mormon is the keystone to our religion.

The primary purpose of the Book of Mormon is to convince all people "that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations."

In 2 Nephi, chapter 25, verse 23 and 26, it says, "For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God...  And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."

I am grateful that ancient prophets wrote the Book of Mormon so that I can know that I can repent and live with my father again.  I am also grateful that I learn about Jesus Christ in the Book of Mormon.

My favorite part of the Book of Mormon is when Jesus Christ comes.  I like that he invited the children to come to him and that he blessed them.  It shows me that even though I wasn't there, if Jesus came today, he would invite me to come to him and he would bless me and he would show me my Heavenly Father's love.

I know the Book of Mormon is true because when I read it I feel a special feeling.  I know that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon and that he was a prophet of God.  The Book of Mormon teaches us that families can be together forever, and I know that's true.  I know that Presidnet Monson was a true prophet and that he did a lot for us.  I know that Jesus made a way for us to get back to our Heavenly Father.  I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus love me because they look out for me and help me in hard times.

Pray Always - Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Ezra Taft Benson

This year in Relief Society I get to help lead discussions from Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Ezra Taft Benson.  My lessons will be the even-numbered lessons, so I will start with Chapter 2: Pray Always.  

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I blogged about a few of the lessons last year, Teaching of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith.  I expect that this year will be much like last year.... I won't be blogging about all of the lessons, just whatever I feel like and have time for.

So without further ado, here are my snippets from this chapter:

From the Life of Ezra Taft Benson

“All through my life the counsel to depend on prayer has been prized above almost any other advice I have received,” said President Ezra Taft Benson. “It has become an integral part of me, an anchor, a constant source of strength, and the basis for my knowledge of things divine. 

“‘Remember that whatever you do or wherever you are, you are never alone’ was my father’s familiar counsel to me as a boy. ‘Our Heavenly Father is always near. You can reach out and receive His aid through prayer.’ I have found this counsel to be true. Thank God we can reach out and tap that unseen power, without which no man can do his best.”

President Benson points out that for him, prayer had become an integral part of himself.  Prayer became:

1. An anchor
2. A constant source of strength
3. The basis for his knowledge of things divine

A familiar story is also told about how President Benson's family prayed for him while he was speaking in general conference.

A friend of the family once observed the influence of those teachings when she attended a session of general conference with the Bensons. She wrote: 

“On an April day … , I discovered one source of a General Authority’s strength. 

“I was seated with the six children of Elder Ezra Taft Benson, one of whom was my college roommate. My interest heightened when President [David O.] McKay arose and announced the next speaker. I watched respectfully as Elder Benson, whom I had not yet met, walked toward the microphone. He was a big man, well over six feet tall. He was … a man internationally known as the United States Secretary of Agriculture and a special witness of the Lord, a man who seemed serene and sure, one who had addressed audiences throughout the world. Suddenly a hand touched my arm. A little girl leaned toward me and whispered urgently, ‘Pray for Dad.’ 

“Somewhat startled, I thought, ‘This message is being passed down the row, and I am to pass it on. Shall I say, “Pray for Elder Benson”? Shall I say, “You’re supposed to say a prayer for your father”?’ Sensing the immediate need to act, I leaned over and whispered simply, ‘Pray for Dad.’ 

“I watched that whisper move along the row to where Sister Benson sat, her head already bowed. … 

“As years have passed, general conferences have come and gone, and each time President Benson has stood to speak, I have thought, ‘His children, who are scattered across the continent, are united now in prayer for their father.’”

Section 1: Jesus Christ has taught that we should pray always.

Many scriptures reference Christ instructing us how to pray and when to pray.  The ones referenced in the lesson are these:

• Matt. 6:9–13
• Luke 18:1
• Matt. 26:41
• D&C 93:49
• D&C 59:21
• 3 Ne. 18:15, 18–20

President Benson goes on to say:

If we would advance in holiness—increase in favor with God—nothing can take the place of prayer. And so I adjure you to give prayer—daily prayer—secret prayer—a foremost place in your lives. Let no day pass without it. Communion with the Almighty has been a source of strength, inspiration, and enlightenment to men and women through the world’s history who have shaped the destinies of individuals and nations for good.

When I first read through this quote, I was a little confused as to the distinction between inspiration and enlightenment.  I guess I've always been under the assumption that they are basically the same thing.  So, of course, I looked up the definition of each word.

Inspiration = something that makes someone want to do something; a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation; the act or power of moving the intellect and emotions.

Enlightenment = the state of having knowledge or understanding; to gain spiritual insight.

So basically, inspiration leads to enlightenment.  Divine influence that leads us to an understanding or knowledge.  You really need both in order to advance in holiness, as President Benson said.  Prayer helps us to achieve both.

Section 2: Families that pray together are blessed with stronger ties of love and the peace of heaven.

I really liked this section.  There are so many blessings promised to us if we will pray together in our families.  But first, the prophet begins with a warning.

The Lord indicates that it is the responsibility of parents to teach their children to pray [see D&C 68:28]. This does not mean secret prayers only. I am sure it means to teach by example through family prayers. We need the sanctifying influence which comes from devotion in the home—prayer as a family. 

We need as families to kneel in family prayer, night and morning. Just a few words added to the blessing on the food, which is becoming the custom in some parts, is not enough. We need to get onto our knees in prayer and gratitude.

Did you catch that?  Prayers at meal time are not enough.  But, then he goes on to list some of the incredible blessings that will come to us through family prayer. (The blessing I found in the above and below quotes are in green, do you see others?)

Prayer has been and is the ever-present anchor for strength and a source of direction in our family activities. I remember kneeling at the bedside of our young children, helping them with prayers in their younger years, and later seeing the older brothers and sisters helping the younger ones. We had family prayer night and morning, with children given the opportunity to lead, and had special prayers to meet particular problems. Mention was made in family prayer, for instance, of children with [Church] assignments. … We asked for help when one of the children faced a difficult examination in high school. Special mention was made of members of the family [who were] away. … This special mention of particular concerns in our family prayers gave confidence, assurance, and strength to members of the family facing difficult problems and assignments. 

The differences and irritations of the day melt away as families approach the throne of heaven together. Unity increases. The ties of love and affection are re-enforced and the peace of heaven enters. 

In such homes secret prayers are said night and morning by members of the household. Individual and family problems are approached with confidence after invoking the favor of heaven. Young people participating in such a family devotional have hearts freed from evil intent as they leave for an evening of entertainment. These [young people] will be the restraining influence in the group when gilded temptations arise. Parents who surround their children with the refining influence of daily devotion are making their contribution to the safeguarding of the … home.

Those are some pretty great promises.  I especially appreciate that family prayer will increase our unity and re-enforce "the ties of love and affection".  And, who couldn't stand a little more of the peace of heaven in their home,  I know I could.  :)

Also, as my children are getting older and are starting to spend more time with friends, I was hopeful when I read that family and individual prayer will free our hearts of evil intent and will guide them to be the "restraining influence" in their group of friends when temptations do arise, because I know they will.

Section 3: We can improve our communication with our Heavenly Father. 

President Benson suggests five ways we can improve our communication with out Father in Heaven.

1. Pray frequently.  He suggests at least two or three times a day.  In addition, we are told to pray always. (See 2 Ne. 32:9; D&C 88:126.) This means that our hearts should be full, drawn out in prayer unto our Heavenly Father continually. 
2. Find a place where you can pray and meditate that is free from distractions.
3. Prepare yourself for prayer.  If we do not feel like praying, then we should pray until we do feel like praying.  President Benson also suggests that we should pray in humility and seek forgiveness and mercy.  We should also forgive others and care for the people around us.
4. Our prayers should be meaningful and pertinent. We should avoid using the same phrases in each prayer. For what should we pray? We should pray about our work, against the power of our enemies and the devil, for our welfare and the welfare of those around us. We should counsel with the Lord regarding all our decisions and activities. (See Alma 37:36–37.) We should be grateful enough to give thanks for all we have. (See D&C 59:21.) We should confess His hand in all things. Ingratitude is one of our great sins.We should ask for what we need, taking care that we not ask for things that would be to our detriment. (See James 4:3.) We should ask for strength to overcome our problems. (See Alma 31:31–33.) We should pray for the inspiration and well-being of the President of the Church, the General Authorities, our stake president, our bishop, our quorum president, our home teachers, family members, and our civic leaders. Other suggestions could be made, but with the help of the Holy Ghost we will know about what we should pray. (See Rom. 8:26–27.)
5. After making a request through prayer, we have a responsibility to assist in its being granted.  This reminds me of a saying I've often heard that goes: "Work like it all depends on you, pray like it all depends on the Lord."

Section 4: God is mindful of us and ready to respond to our prayers when we place our trust in Him and do that which is right.

There is power in prayer. All things are possible through prayer. It was through prayer that the heavens were opened in this dispensation... 

It is my testimony ...that God does hear and answer prayers. I have never doubted that fact. From childhood, at my mother’s knee where I first learned to pray; as a young man in my teens; as a missionary in foreign lands; as a father; as a Church leader; as a government official, I know without any question that it is possible for men and women to reach out in humility and prayer and tap that Unseen Power; to have prayers answered. Man does not stand alone, or at least, he need not stand alone. Prayer will open doors; prayer will remove barriers; prayer will ease pressures; prayer will give inner peace and comfort during times of strain and stress and difficulty. Thank God for prayer.

Even during hours of trial and anxiety, it is possible to draw close to the Lord, to feel of his influence and of his sustaining power—that one is never alone, if he will only humble himself before the Almighty. I am grateful for that testimony, for that assurance. 

It is soul-satisfying to know that God is mindful of us and ready to respond when we place our trust in Him and do that which is right. There is no place for fear among men and women who place their trust in the Almighty, who do not hesitate to humble themselves in seeking divine guidance through prayer. Though persecutions arise, though reverses come, in prayer we can find reassurance, for God will speak peace to the soul. That peace, that spirit of serenity, is life’s greatest blessing.

Discussion Questions:

• Has there been a time when you received strength, inspiration and enlightenment through prayer?
• How will you make family prayer a priority in your home?
• Using President Benson's suggestions for improving communication with our Heavenly Father through prayer, in what areas can you improve?
• What do you take from President Benson's testimony on prayer?